I Miss Them... Again

Assalamuaalaikum.. ^__^

Havent expressing lately.. patut la 2 3 hari ni rasa duk membebel x tentu pasal.. When you write more, you talk less. LAgipun, dari buat dosa talk without thinking, better uskut(diam)kan?

“Dari Abu Hurairah r.a, sesungguhnya Rasululloh bersabda, “Barang siapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan hari akhir hendaklah berkata baik atau diam…” (HR Mutafaqun ‘alih).

hahaha,, hari ni juz nak masuk memory lane balik. i think the most touching part la dalam idup aku ni.. PLKn la.. even so 3 month je,, i feel the ukhuwah between us..

kalau nak recite satu2 kisah kat PLKN memang boleh la amik masa 3 bulan jugak nak siap. So ape yang aku nak share ngan korang is my precious.. precious friends. ^__^

Yup, ni la family aku kat PLKN.. susah senang hidup aku kat sane, penat lelah, sume kitorang tanggung bersama. Sepanjang aku kat sana, sometimes aku rasa mcam nak give up. rasa nak nangis, rasa x tahan dengan karenah manusia yang pelbagai yang seriously mencabar keimanan n kesabaran. Aku rasa aku tak pernah rasa sepenat itu. Aku tak pernah rasa segeram dan semarah itu..

Still,,

these memories,, yang akhirnya develop my patience.These true friend yang akhirnya membuatkan aku stand up strong kembali.. and believe me, pengalaman kat situ seriously mendewasakan aku..

aku tak reti nak express.. nor sweet talking,, but i really love you guys. Junting,Jiun,MeiKuan(hehee),Pika,Yoyo,Ping,Peiting,Arin,Cheah,Vivian and Of course my best friend.. Ee Vern.

err.. Teachers pun. Boys pun. Other girls pun.. ^__^

P/s: Cikgu Achbar, Selamat Pengantin Baru!!!!!

Penat.. Bebaloi atau tak??

Hoho. Long time no writ-y.. suddenly missing 'Oh My English" really much la..and drinking coffee too much nowdays.. ^__^

Semalam tidur lambat... Yayaya.. i know i shouldn't be right? Plus, staying up for something yang tak worthed pun. Tengok Running Man. Even selalu je aku cakap tengok running man tu ada ibrah yang kita boleh ambik, tapi come on la guys, tak boleh nak tipulah ke'exited'an tengok diorang sampai pengajaran pun x nampak..

Ok.. niat aku menulis nie sbb nak muhasabah diri balik . Kire post mortem untuk diri sendirila. Semakin lama aku duduk sini, semakin penat aku rasa. tapi masalahnya, bila aku tengok kiri-kanan-depan-belakang-atas-bawah-nearby.. aku tengok semua orang relax je?? macam enjoying the life giler-giler. macam tak ada masalah. But me?? *haih

kengkadang aku pikir jugak la, izit me making things complicated? aku memenatkan diri aku sendiri ke? nak kata kurang oxygen pun mungkin jugak,duk sedut debu je.. tak sihat? mentally im sure.

tap, bila pikir-pikir balik, Rasulullah lagi penat. Aya Kito pun penat. Ulama' lagi penat. Parents aku, family aku, Senior-senior aku, jauh lebih penat dari aku. even so, aku still rasa nak mengeluh. Mengapa ye?

Teorically, kalau lillahi taala, gerenti tak penat betul tak? Kalau kita pus hati dengan kerja kita tu, kita takkan rasa penat pun. Kalau bebaloi, takkan mengeluh pun. so? Aku buat keje x lillahi taala ke? tak puas hati? rasa tak bebaloi? Maybe. Maybe not.

But even if betul sekalipun sebabnya itu, practically nya seriously no kidding. Bukan mudah tau hati nak ikhlaskan lillahi taala. Obviously. Lagi-lagi untuk orang yang hatinya macam aku. tapi if i keep trying and believe in God, one day ill suceed right? bukan mudah tapi bukan mustahil. yup. Possible.

As long as aku tak putus asa to change to a better ayuni. practice make perfect kan? practise ikhlaskan diri untuk Allah now, n i will be fine one day. conclusionnya? penat ni bebaloi tak? for me bebaloi.. sebab penat ni penat untuk mencuba untuk ikhlaskan diri lillahi taala. Then, Bismillahirramanirrahim!!!!


Hadiqah Kasr El-Ainy,
12.15pm, 7/11.2012

Hari ni last day class with Dr. Sameh Doss. sedih.. coz hes my favourite doctor so far.. ^__^ May Allah Guide him.

Hari ini dapat banyak benda. salah satunya....

tadi ada kelas anatomy dengan physio. to be honest, im starting to get used of doctor thingy here. so dah mula la sedar and realise yang end of result aku bukan lagi engineer yang aku idam-idamkan, or an embassador yang tau sume bahasa but a DOCTOR. dulu yakin giler la sampai cakap

"kalau doktor ni je pilihan yang ade.. aku lebih rela jadi suri rumah."

ambik kau. Allah nak cakap, takdir ni Allah yang punya. and as a Hamba, an abid.. aku boleh la nak rancang bagai nak rak tapi end of product, is HIS business..

ok. get back on track..

Dalam kelas enet tadi, Subahanaallah, tak tau nak cakap macammana kagumnya aku. tau tak, to even gerakan jari nak sentuh hidung, adalah satu pergerakan compleks yang consist bukan je banyak nerve.. banyak system. baru la time ni memang nampak perbandingan ilmu seluas lautan Allah dengan setitik ilmu kita.

Dan macammana perkara yang explainable macam nie, is unexplainable how its created.

maksudnya, kita boleh discuss, boleh bagi nama kat benda-benda tu macam bagi nama kat anak kita-medial epicondyle la, humerous la.. yang tu baru yang pendek-pendek. yang upper lateral cutanuous nerve of forearm tuh? tu baru upper, belum lower. tu baru cutaneous belum profounda. tu baru lateral.. belum lagi medial, superior, inferior.. yadayadayada- semua ada. tapi, its existance... is unexplainable kan? sape boleh bg tau mane datang artery tu kat dalam badan padahal kita datang dari sperm dengan ovum yang x de ape2 wire pun- artery ke, lymph ke, vein ke.. dua-dua wireless!!

ok.. nampak semangat kedoktoran tu. segala benda aku recite.

still yang tu aku rase sume orang paham je ape aku cuba maksudkan. and that is only one of it.

conclusionnya.. im proud to be born and live as a muslim. Seriously. tau tak sebab apa? meh masuk mood muhasabah jap. once orang kate...

jagan sedih sebab jalan cerita kita tak seindah cerita novel sebab novel ditulis oleh manusia, whereas our storyline is by Allah

bila kita lahirkan, sape yang berani cakap time dia lahir tu ikut kehendak dia? perasaan, memory, kekuatan, jantina.. dan agama, our storyline begins with HIS takdir. dan tak tergambar rasanya kalau from begining lagi im not a muslim.

Reason??

sebab untuk for me to be the me right now, the NURUL FILZAH AYUNI, the Dr-to-be, the grateful and better me... it takes

from,,

rotan dari ayah, marah dari ummi, fighting amongs siblings, pindah 10 school, kenal ramai orang yang tukang bawa najis, main sukan, tetelan duit syiling, kena sengat ngan tebuan banyak kali, mimpi tsunami, distracted, sangkut dengan benda pelik-pelik, kena bebel ngan cikgu... and hampir putus asa..

to,,

going smapl, belajar agama, kenal kawan minyak wangi, renew iman, medic, eygpt, jadi hamba.. dan yakin akan rahmatnya..

nak capai tahap ni pun amik masa 18 tahun baru dapat initiate.. tu belum betul-betul solehah.. dan aku rasa nasib baik la mula-mula Allah dah permudahkan dengan lahirkan aku as a muslim. kalau tak? mau bepuluh-puluh taun... and aku pun tak tau mampukah aku untuk capai sebelum putus asa .. sebab itu, aku bersyukur.SANGAT.SANGAT.SANGAT.

and im very clear on one thing. we dont know what our future will be. yup, aku sendiri tak tau apa storyline yang Allah akan bagi kat aku lepas ni. tapi aku yakin dengan DIA. and as long as i live, ill continue to believe in HIm, Insya-Allah.

Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang melampaui batas, terhadap diri mereka sendiri, janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa semuanya.” (QS. Az Zumar: 53)

Allah tidak memberati seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya. Ia mendapat pahala kebaikan yang di usahakannya, dan ia juga menanggung dosa kejahatan yang diusahakannya. (Mereka berdoa dan berkata):"Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau mengirakan kami salah jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Wahai Tuhan kami! janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami bebanan yang berat sebagaimana yang telah Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada kami. Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang kami tidak terdaya memikulnya. Dan maafkanlah kesalahan kami, dan berilah rahmat kepada kami, dan beri Penolong kami oleh itu, tolonglah kami untuk mencapai kemenangan terhadap kaum-kaum yang kafir". (QS. Al Baqarah: 286)

16/10/2012, 10.27 pagi, Selasa
Hadiqah Kasr Al-Ainy, Cairo, Mesir.

Hari ni ada exam biochem. result?? hehehe.. let it b secret then. carry 2.5 marks dalam final exam je.. tapi, 2.5 marks yang je tula yang nnt tentukan mumtaz or jaiyid jiddan kan??? hehehe. malu sendiri.

Habis kelas dengan penuh semangat turun tangga,ternampak orang main basket kat uni. laki arab. sekali pandang, rasa sayu sangat tak tau nak cakap macammana dah. time nila segala regret datang. regret ke mesir, regret amik medik...

tapi bila 2 3 kali pandang, aku tau je sebenarnya aku x boleh nak dapat sume. no pain no gain rite? so kalau aku nak sesuatu, aku kenalah berkorban. n dalam berkorban, kita kenalahpastikan pengorbanan tu berbaloi. satu kayu ukur yang aku letak untuk diri aku sendiri.. kalau aku nak berkorban, aku kenalah pastikan pengorbanan tu bukan satu yang sia-sia. satu pelaburan yang bermanfaat. n aku takkan regret dengan keputusan tu.

teringat doa yang Allah letak dalam surah Ali Imran... Ya Allah, Tidaklah Kau jadikan aku dengan sia-sia.

tau tak dalam penciptaan kita pun ada yang terkorban. dalam Allah nak Khalifah kat muka bumi ini, Allah hilang salah satu ahli syurganya. Dulu masa aku kecik ada satu soalan yang selalu je aku terpikir.. walau aku rasa its wrong( sebab bila aku tanya kat ustaz ustazah aku sume pandang aku macam nak tembus je). tapi dulu Nabi Ibrahim pun ada je keluar soalan tauhid macam ni. sebab dalam hati manusia.. yang penuh dengan keter-had-an ini, banyak perkara yang kita nak tau. samalah aku.

aku selalu terpikir,, kalau la... ( ni waktu kecik. aku harap korang tau la.. perkataan kalau kalau nie nabi x suka.. as if mempersoalkan takdir.. tapi ni flashback,, zaman kanak-kanak ^___^)... Allah x suruh iblis sujud, x de la dia bongkak kan? n tak de la orang jahat kat dunia nie. n neraka tu xkan wujud sebab semua orang baik dan taat kepada Allah..

tapi tu dulu sebab tengok dengan mata kepala. tengok dengan mata yang selalu terpandang benda lagha, yang telah diliputi dengan kotoran duni, so keputusan dari mata tidak lagi transparent. cuba pandang dengan mata hati pulak. nak tengok dengan mata hati, pejamkan mata. indahkan tengok dengan mata hati? sedar atau tidak, perkara terindah dalam hidup kita hanya berlaku apabila kita menutup mata.

n bila Allah kata penciptaan kita bukan sia-sia, sesungguhnya Dialah Yang Maha Benar..

dengan ada kejahatan, barulah ada taubat. dengan ada kesilapan, barulah ada pembetulan. sengan ada kegagalan, baru lah ada peningkatan. dengan adanya dugaan, barulah ada kenikmatan. dan dengan ada penyakit barulah ada penawar.

Penorbanan itu perlu. infact, pengorbanan itu adalah sunnah dalam kehidupan.pengorbanan itu wajib dan pasti ada. Asal kena pastikan pengorbanan itu tak sia-sia. so selagi mana ia tak sia-sia,, maka bekorbanlah..

and yea. for me to come this far, 100 pengorbanan telah aku lakukan. berkorban cita-cita, berkorban perasaan, berkorban duit, berkorban minat, berkorban basket, berkorban kawan, korban rindu, korban segalanya.

tapi insya-Allah, bukan pengorbanan yang sia-sia. Amin.

Takut Lupa.

memang susah nak jadi manusia yang bersyukur. memang susah nak refresh back everyday dan cakap Alhamdulillah atleast sekali. susah ke??

tau tak, ape je yang berlaku kat kita, x de satu pun yang membawa kemudharatan yang nyata. dari result spm yang x berapa bagus, amik course yang agak susah, dapat kat negara yang agak bahaya, semuanya hikmah yang datang dari Allah..

sebenarnya dah lama tau teorically.. and to actually really feel it at here.. ardul kinanah.. satu bless yang sangat besar. and satu regret jugak.

dulu, tak pernah rasa satu negara tu can really change sumones attitude. tak pernah rasa satu biah itu,, mam pu je untuk mendidik seseorang. sekarang baru rasa.

dulu, tak pernah tau, yang mudah je nak jadi baik. mudah je nak berubah. sebab kuasa tu, kan kat tangan Allah.. dan bila semua orang pandang tinggi dekat kita, mudah je kita boleh berubah jadi takbur. mudah je berubah jadi bongkak.. tapi, selagi yakin, selagi percaya dengan Allah... pasti boleh..

takut lupa.
takut khilaf.
Ampunilah ya Allah. Sungguh catatlah aku antara hamba-Mu yang bersyukur..

I am GRATEFUL ^__^

struggling

struggling to survive in a new place. so many problem..

lagi la lepas ahlan dekat mesir ni, dapat jawatan sebagai ketua batch akhawat pulak tue. orang asyik cakap tahniah.. dan ta'ziah. banyak jugak pengurusan. astaghfirullah.

rumah pun sebab baru masuk nak settle kan brang dalam rumah. nasib baik ada housemate yang memahami. alhamdulillah..

nak bukak internet,, subahanallah.. susahnya. tapi sekali sekala balik rumah perak,, dapat la pegi cc kat bawah tue..

belajar?/ susah jugah sebab barieer bahasa tapi insya-Allah,, selagi minat boleh je usaha.. sedang cuba,, sedang belajar..

jadi di sini aku belajar utk berkorban. korban tenaga,, korban masa, korban,, wang, korban emosi dan segala jenis korban la.. lagi2 korban masa bersama familly dan teman2 tercinta di malaysia.

tapi, kalau ada orang yang selfish, nak buat macammana? kita dah cuba macam2 untuk kemudahan mereka, bagaimana hendak menghadapi mereka2 yang susah untuk berkorban. semoga mereka berubah.

ya Allah, sungguh, hati manusia itu engkau yang pegang..

Xie xie ni men!!!!

Yday aku rasa sangat terharu. Seriously no joke. Aku dapat hadiah dari kawan-kawan aku. Letters.. Fromabirdie.com

Mula2 bila hanset aku berbunyi pkul 12 tgh mlm tue,, mati2 aku ingat email dari MSD eygpt ke.. yang reply pasal flight aku. Tapi.. Huahuahua.. Terharunye.

Fromabirdie.com kejenye macam ni. Kita tulis email kawan yg kita nak wish on special occasion.. i.e brthday, anniversary, studying oversea... Yadayadayada..

Then kumpul reramai kawan bentuk satu group so setiapsorang akan tulis satu letters la to kwn kita tu la. So it will create an album of letters!!!!

On my occasion, ee vern la host die. And then she invites others like junting, nick and yumi. I read all the letters at that time.. I was really thankful n happy coz the letters are v nice...

To you guys, thx a lot. Really appriciate ur effort on writing a letter. Nick, thx buddy. I hope you get well soon. Biiznillah.. Yumi, thx for the long and touching letters and i hope one day we have reunion again, ok? To my happy troop-mate, group-mate, room-mate and bed-mate,Jun ting, guess wat? I miss you really much- and i know its you. U wrote to me once, so of coz its easy to guess. Thx and i really hope u'll pass and get to study engine in germany. And for my 'very-really-most-best-est-friend-ever' (too good that it surpass grammar error), thank you! I really appriciate it. Eventhough im not gonna get to hear your problem frequently, i hope you know that im alwiz by ur side and support you through all the way.

Dont worry,, i wont forget u guys!!!

Few days to go

Hari ni rabu. Esok khamis. Lusa jumaat.. Tup2 aku kat mesir dah. Seronok? Entahlah. Bercampur baur perasaan aku. Tipu ar kalau tak exited nak g study setelah berkurun bertapa kat umah ni.. Tak buat apa. Still, 6 tahun. Its quite a long time. Tapi mmg aku akn pastikan ade tyme sem break tue yg aku amik pluang ntok pulang ke pangkuan family.

Barang? Ha, nie yg den poning sekali. Nie tak yah lah. Ni pentig la. Tapi seronok ade senior, jiran, kengkawan yg g skali n help me through dis mess.. Sahabat.. Kredit to you guys..

Jumaat tue flight pagi. Hari ni nak g survey bag jap. Cari yg ultra lightsket. Sbb kuota dyer cume 23 kg je. Haih.. Nak seludup ciksu pergi pun tak lepas.. Duk smangat packing smlm beg pun tak da.. Hahaahha..

Nway, aku tau nak dapatkan aku hari jumaat 14/9 tue, takes alot of hardwork n blessing. Org duk tengok outcome je.. 'Ayuni dapat medik kat Mesir. bagusnya.'

Tapi seblm ayat tu korang boleh sebut, ada tears n joy, ada sweet n bitter, ade parents n family, ade difficulties n hardship, ade frenz n teachers, ada SMAPL n PLKN. And most important, it take 18-year-experience and blessing from Allah.

Tampa all those thingz.. There wont b any Mesir-or doctor-or even, ayuni. Allah kata kalau kita bersyukur kena sebut.

Yes. Im grateful. Very grateful. Thanks everyone.

i gotta share something. its really inspiring to me...
He is Alex Wong. He's my unspoken hero.

Who is he? He's no big person alrite. not rich nor create sumthing big. he juz a dancer that have multiple talent but i guest thereare a lot of that kind of people nowdays. but he's difrent. he's special because he's...

ORDINARY

Haha.. short introduction. He's really fond of dancing... BALLET.
ok, people like me looking at people like him audition at sytycd season 5, i really laughed at him.. because he's strong and cool and handsome. and sweet and cute and chinese...

ok, that sound so wrong in so many level.

my point is, he's so.. manly and dancing ballet? but he was so good he actually made it.. sadly, he still tied in a contract with one of the ballet company kinda-thing.


but i wasnt really fond of him that time so i dont really care. but i was surprise to see him determined.. after the end of the contract he quits and try for sytycd season 7. he made it.. and i thought, it was his luck to get pass. but i was wrong. On the third week i think, when i think no one really take attention on his abilities, he prove we are wrong.

he dance hip hop.. and got nominated in 2011 emmy award..
he was laughed and no one thouhgt that he could ever make it. but he nails it..
all the crowd was standing, Adam shankman cried, he cried.. i was very touched by the video. the video inspires Ellen that she come and dance the same choreography at the finale. she was inspired. I was indeed inspired.

sadly.. he got injured. and advised to rest for 3 month. therefore, he's out of the competition. everyone cried. i teared. because everyone know he would win. i know he would win. and its sad that his dream was crushed not once, but twice..(watch it here)

Mia: Alex, you're a beast. you're a beast.

Nigel: i believe that you juz set a new standart of sytycd.

adam shankman: this is your world and im juz visiting.

round applause for Mr Alex Wong... and to those who dares to be ordinary and different from others and fight to pursue their dreams no matter what the obstacles are...

thanks SMK Sungai Kertas

tadi ada sharing dekat SMK SUNGAI KERTAS. sesat mesat gak aku carik akhirnya jumpa gak..

ok.. reaction aku waktu first-first sampai...
jengjengjeng...

hahaha.. cuak+kagum+takut. yela, 350++ orang murid(perempuan sahaja). tue tak masuk sang lelaki, cikgu-mikgu and mama the taukeh of kanteen. tapi alhamdulillah dapat deliver dengan baikla. bebudak pown sempoi!!!

tapi aku memang tabik spring kat sek nie... layanan first class, murid2 die jenis duk diam and dengar... thanks arr bagi korang yang hilangkan cuak-ku itu.. huahuahua. seronok berkenalan dengan korang.

if korang bace post nie, meh la konsi blog siket.. mungkin ade ilmu yang korang boleh kongsi. n yes, maap la,, saye nie bab-bab blogging masih baru mengesot. agak LAME and OUTDATED sikit tapi harap anda manfaatkan la isinye ye...

and yup, feel free to comment n complaint.. no offence kay?

salam ukhuwah n perkenalan..

my heart is...

aching, aggrieved, agonized, all torn up, battered, bleeding, bruised, buffeted, burned, busted up, contused, crushed, cut, damaged, disfigured, distressed, disturbed, grazed, harmed, hit, impaired, in pain, indignant, lacerated, marred, mauled, miffed, mutilated, nicked, offended, pained, piqued, put away, resentful, rueful, sad, scarred, scraped, scratched, shook, shot, sore, stricken, struck, suffering, tender, tortured, umbrageous, unhappy, warped, wounded and.......... HURT..........

i really like the way people like him clarify things..

meh la aku kongsi siket cerita... tapi aku takut gak la kisah ni inconvinient tok korang baca.. so aku dah tapis and come out with a clean and short version.. nak pencerahan,, jemput tanye..

Masa aku kecik la,,( ok x de la kecik sangat) aku memang mintak maap la nak jengok-jengok bende-benda agama ni. boleh la siket-siket tapi macam tue je la. Pastu dah masuk alam besar sikit, mulalah rasa insaf, nak blajar balik agama elok-elok..

nak di pendekkan cerita, itu jelah. hehehe.

kalau dipanjangkan sedikit, aku masuklah ke sekolah terchenta nie.. SMAPL. and aku learn macam-macam pasal agama kadang-kadang aku pening.

Kalau yang tak berapa nak ada agama tue, kena maki hamun caci maki pasal tak de ilmu la.. ape la,, yang sentiasa ada agama nya duk mengata fahaman ngan ideologi orang lain ntah betul atau tidak. sekejap ikut mazhab, sekejap ikut terus nabi.. sat-sat ini Ahli sunnah wal jamaah,, sat-sat gi yang tu pun mengaku ahli sunnah wal jamaah. last-last, diorang sama diorang bertelagah, kita ditengah, mati tak dapat apa-apa. politik pun macam itulah.

mula-mula aku bengang la.. sebab dah pening. but when i think back very carefully, sebenarnya better jugak aku tahu pasal benda tue. betul kata Mat Lutfi, one day, there wont be parents, fren or anyone yang akan dapat tolong. so sebelum kita terpengaruh tanpa ilmu.. bagi aku, better ada pencerahan!!

All the struggles, Is life fair

I really loves the way he clarify things.

lately, i've been complaining on how i keep on failing and do mistakes. and although how much i tried, ill always failed. so i statrted thinking.. is this fair to me? why I dint get what ive been working on lately?

And Mr Nouman Ali Khan right here, clarify it All.

I loves how he start with clarifying the true meaning of Rabb it self and how he ended up saying that actually, wwe dont have the right to complaint because it is not ours to begin with..

The true insult to Prophet Muhammad S.A.W

I just on my facebook and people are sharing something.

clearly i have no problem with that as im a true muslim an a gud abid wanna be.
but lets think for a while.

you know, in SMAPL last year i think, we have this junior forums talked about our prophet and our world today. for some reason, the world have created 'Islamophobia' and more and more insult and fitnah had been created toward Islam. and i remember one of the panel become outrage of the issue burn the Quran day.. and of course, the fitna short film and the boycott thingy. and i remember the judges keep on mentioning how Muslim dominated the world by population number.

lets hear a facts from Rasulullah back then.

1) He said : ( The nations are about to attack you like those hungry attack a plate of food ). He was asked: Is it because we are few at that time? He said: ( no, you are plenty, but weak like the froth cast out from heavy rain. Allah will remove from your enemies heart any fear towards you, and Allah will throw Wahan ( weakness ) in your own hearts ). He was asked: What is Wahan O messenger of Allah ? He said: Loving this life and being afraid of dying ) Abou Dawood.


see? Rasulullah predicted already, and he told us that we are going to be more then them. but wait. theres more. see the bold one? now focus on the huge one. yes my friend, im afraid that Rasulullah said weak. and he continues...

...Allah will remove from your enemies heart any fear towards you, and Allah will throw Wahan ( weakness ) in your own hearts )...

thats my dear is one of our problem today.

that page that i share you up there, notted that. he said...

On the anniversary of the London bomb attacks it’s worth reminding ourselves they’ll never win with terror...but they might take over via mass migration and population growth. Hate speech nobody likes to talk about


see, i told you so..

but you know what? all this islamophobia thing, this insult thing wasnt the thing that bothers me at All.. and you know why?

Because 1400 years before, when our Prophet was still alive, it happen already. they dint use facebook and internet alright, cause back then was even worse. the say DIRECT!

So it will be very weird if people now days don't use the opportunity to spread their hatred. well, now days they got a better advertisement eyhh??

so what is the true insult? well, I remember my respected friend stand up at the end of the forum and moves to the microphone. everyone throught he was about to ask question but instead he throw out a wonderful speech that blew us all. I wish i recorded his talk. you know what he said?

we keep on talking what the western, the non-muslim did to our religion. we keep on insulting them back and do demonstration, and talking about rights. we even boycott their product and everything to show our outrages. but the thing is we are the one that insulting our own religion, our own prophet. when we have a forum or a khutbah presenting about his advises, we sleep. All his sunnah, was his amanah towars us, but we ignore it. the Quran, What Allah deliver as a guidance to be a gud abid, some of it we disobey.

yup,true enough.

Easy conclusion from me, when we muslim din't do what Al-Quran and As-sunnah guide us to do, that mean we dont belive the guidance that were give to us. and thats mean we disobey Allah and Rasul.why hate the haters? hate the obeyyers for disobey. and for disobeying, that is the true insult not to our prophet only, to Islam completely.

And Shaitan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: "Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, so you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zalimoon (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.). (Surah Al- Ibrahim, 14:22)

Now my fellow brother and sister, lets stop insulting Allah, Our prophet and Islam together!!!

p/s: sorry for wrong grammar and spelling, im no mat salleh.. hehehhe

ikeuchi aya-one litre of tears

“If I were a flower, then now I would be a bud.
I shall treasure the beginning of my youth without any regrets.

This disease, why did it choose me?
Fate. It can't be put into words.

I want to make a time machine and go back in time.

If it wasn't for this disease,
not only I could enjoy falling in love but I also
wouldn’t have to rely on anyone and live by myself.

I really don't want to say things such as 'I want to go back to how things were before.'
I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on.
Therefore I definitely won't run away.
That's what I’ll do. Definitely, always.

Even if it's like that, I still want to stay here.
because this is the place where I am.

If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today
stretching limitlessly and smiles at me...I'm alive.

People shouldn’t dwell on the past. It's enough
to try your best in all that you're doing now.

Reality is too cruel, too brutal.
I don’t even have the right to dream.
As i think about the future, the tears will come out again."

speechless...

true life is full with ups and down. and im having one of the down moments..
but Allah clearly said that

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."(al-Baqarah-286)

Listen, Im no alim alrite. im not a very nice person also. ive been such a jerk to so many people before and i realise my mistake. yes.. and im sorry

and throughout changing, ive got the side effect of it. for those who hope for that, i got it dy.

but im changing bit by bit now. and im trying to be better. and everyone noe, no one get wat they wan easily. so thats why here is my down.

but the biggest issue is,, i dun really noe is ill ever gonna survive this one. its to hard to bear alone. peope keep saying dat Allah is there for you for every step of the way and i noe. but, for a new beginner like me, its likely possible to stray away from HIM sumtimes..

and i know its not HIS foult.. its mine..

i juz hope dat dis ramadhan really help me through this..

teenager's mind under constuction?

Hari itu aku pergi Dr Har punya talk la.. tajuk dia KENALI ANAK KITA. waktu tue Dr Har ada cakap satu benda penting. a fact actually...

the fact is that...


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hahaha...bagi aku yang teenagers ni, memang sound intresting la kan... Meh la aku terangkan kat korang in a simple way... tapi ini based on pengetahuan aku la..

Time-lapse MRI images of human-brain development between ages five and 20 show the growth and then gradual loss of gray matter, which consists of cells that process information. (Red areas contain more gray matter, blue areas less.) Paradoxically, the thinning of gray matter that starts around puberty corresponds to increasing cognitive abilities. This probably reflects improved neural organization, as the brain pares redundant connections and benefits from increases in the white matter that helps brain cells communicate.

paham??

ok, aku pun lebih kurang korang je... macam nie la..

Mase aku form 5, aku ade blajar dalam biology tajuk

coordinate and response

seingat aku yang BIO tak A+ nie, sekeliling otak kita nie ade cerebral cortex. kat situ ade lapisan nipis Gray matter. Kat dalam gray matter nie ade berjuta-juta nerve ngan body cell yang recieve n process infos. bila usia kita makin miningkat, keupayaan kognitif pun same meningkat iaitu keupayaan mentafsir dan memahami serta mempelajari sesuatu perkara.

ok.. sekarang tengok ayat yang di BOLDkan tue.

Paradoxically, the thinning of gray matter that starts around puberty corresponds to increasing cognitive abilities.

maksudnya, bila kita makin besar( dari segi nombor), kita akan lebih faham dan lebih matang, jadi otak kita akan semakin kurang memproses maklumat..

ok,, ape yang aku cuba sampaikan sebenarnya???

basicly.. human brain take 20 years to develop into a matured brain.. jadi budak 18 tahun tak fully matured lagi..

ok, itu basicnya. now...

Research during the past 10 years, powered by technology such as functional magnetic resonance imaging, has revealed that young brains have both fast-growing synapses and sections that remain unconnected. This leaves teens easily influenced by their environment and more prone to impulsive behavior, even without the impact of souped-up hormones and any genetic or family predispositions.

maksudnya, remaja lagi terikut dengan keaadaan sekeliling daripada sifat turun-temurun parents diorang. Baru nie aku ikut Program KASEH, aku kenal denga seorang kakak ni la. dia ini, mak ayah dia tak tau dekat mana, jadi sepanjang hidup dia, orang yang paling penting kawan la kan. tyme umur dia 18 tahun, dia jadi orang yang terlibat dalam pemerdagangan manusia(tolong jualkan budak-budak yang dikidnap) sebab follow kawan. naseb baik lepas tue dia kenal sorang ni dan tolong dia keluar dari kancah bahaya tue.. sekarang akak tue dah 25 tahun, sedang memperbaiki hidup dia sendiri.

kan aku dah cakap, kalau usia macam kita nie, tak pandai cari kawan, parents tak jaga lek lok... jagan harap survive dalam dunia ini. yang ramai-ramai duk pandang rendah kat akak nie, dah-dah la tu. entah-entah, kalau kita berada kat tempat dia, mampukan kita untuk patah balik?

balik-pasal otak remaja tadi.

napak tak otak yang warne pink tue.. ha.. namenya Frontal cortex.

yang warne purple pulak, amygdala. korang mesti nak tahu sebab apa remaja nie beremosi siket.. dan mudah jatuh cinta kan??

bahagian yang berwarna hijau .. hahaha.. corpus calloseum. midpoint brain kita.

yang coklat tue, namanya cerebellum. kalau korang layan cerita 1 litre of tears korang akan serba sedikit tau pasal bahagian nie. Dalam kisah benar itu, Aya telah menghidapi penyakit spinicerebellar degenerationpada umur 15 tahun apabila bahagian cerebellum megecut dan megurangkan keupayaan untuk bercakap dan melakukan pergerakan. Beliau akhirnya meninggal pada umur 25 tahun

conclusion dari pada Dr Har, ada 2 benda penting tetang permikiran remaja...

1) tak mahir buat penilaian.
2) bertidak untuk ganjaran jangka masa pendek.

conclusion dari aku....
wujudkan suasana sekeliling yang baik supaya kami lebih terdidik. sesekali, bermainla dengan kami kerana kami lebih sukan akan keseronokan. bantulah kami dalam melakukan pilihan agar tidak menyesal di kemudian hari.

Remaja, walaupun merokok memuaskan nafsu, couple membuatkan kita bahagia, pergaulan bebas membuatkan kita lebih ramai kawan dan dihargai, semua itu hanyalah fartamogana dan ilusi yang sementara. kita belum bersedia untuk mengharungi dunia ini sendirian.

WE ARE UNDER CONSTUCTION!!

PRomotion semata-mata

Masa mula-mula masuk SMAPL, dalam hati dah niat dah, itulah satu-satunya harapan nak berubah. Masa itu, harapan setinggi gunung.. supaya dapat berubah dan menjadi anak solehah. Yelah.. zaman itu mana ada KASEH lagi kan?? Haha..

1101 Hikayat

HAri ini memang boleh tahan hariang hari aku. macam-macam berlaku tapi like alwiz aku control macho la...aku tahu dah pukul 12 tapi aku memang mangat siket bab-bab story nihhh...panjang jug kalau aku nak cite kat korang tapi meh la aku kongsi sket perasaan GUMBIRA aku nih..

MALAYSIA MENANG!!!!

ok, dah tu saje.. tak boleh lebih-lebih..yang aku tahu, Malaysia getting closer to being a world class football team la. Hoki pun. Basketball pun. Badminton pun. Apapapun dengan ini aku merasmikan bahawa SYakir Ali layak mengambil aku sebagai pemnat dia. sekian harap maklum..

ok, mak aku dah beberapa hari tak ada, jadi akula yang settle kan rumah for a few days.. mak oi.. nak jaga rumah ok lag.. yang dalam isi rumah tu.. macam BINGUNG je.. nie dah pukul 12 ada beberapa benda yang aku tak settle lagi... Iron baju Cik su, kemas beg dia, kemas dapur buat kali terakhir..

HAIH...

baiklah... aku dengar GOL dari atas.ok..Cze dah gol. baguslah. aku memang peminat softcore bola pun.. time CZE kalah 4-1 dengan Rusia hari itu pun penat aku berkabung.. Time Nasri score tu habis suara aku. sumbangan yang sia-sia.Baiklah. Aku insaf.
Aku dengar jeritan dari atas lagi.Second Gol untuk CZe.

.............

sebenarnya bukan bola yang aku nak cerita... nak cerita pasal kengkawan aku yang dah masuk uni. Seronok mendengar diorang bercerita. pengalaman diorang, cerita tentang subjek baru. aku yang tak mula lagi pengajian ni menjadi teruja mendengar kata-kata mereka.
tak mengapalah. Buat Entri lain.

DAh besar-besarsah kami semua.macam semalam masih dalam asrama berebut bilik air, denagr tazkirah dan ceramah, sembang ngan kengkawan, gossiping. ingat lagi memori semasa SPM. duduk satu bilik dengan SYud, Dibbz, SYirah, Ateen, Zerod..
ok baiklah..Buat entri lain.

TeStInG...

Ok...
post ini untuk menaikkan semangat untuk blogging...

BAIK!!!!

aku nak cuba lebih rajin blogging.. itu je..
sekian terima kasih

On preparing to be a Medical Student

P/s credit to DR. Josh Herigon for writing this.

This is my referance...
more infomation on preparing your self to be a doctor at here


The following is a brief list of some of the things I think have been useful and worth their money in my first two years of med school:

1. Large, widescreen computer monitor. The volume of information required to internalize during the preclinical years of medical school can’t be compiled and organized on paper. You would end up with bookshelves filled with those gigantic 4″ binders. Therefore, almost everything happens on a laptop. Of course, the advantages of portability afforded by laptops are offset by the tiny screen size. Plugging into an external, gigantic screen when at home is a huge advantage. You can actually see what you need to be looking at. It’s brighter and generally has better resolution. More important, the additional real estate allows you to have multiple windows open side-by-side so you can take notes in one and look at material or watch videos in the other.


2. Robbins Pathologic Basis of Disease. One of our professors once said, “You could lock a med student in a basement for two years with a copy of Robbins and they would come out and not miss a question on Step 1.” A single textbook doesn’t exist for medical school, but this one pretty much covers everything you need to know in the first two years. Unfortunately, Robbins often goes into too much detail, but it is the best reference book for anything during the preclinical years. This is a required book for any med student.

3. Smartphone. If for nothing else, to keep track of your email and schedule. I don’t know exactly how much email I get in a given day, but it’s a lot. Being able to check these emails anytime without sitting down at a computer is a huge advantage. The other thing smartphones are getting better and better at is on-the-go studying. I can pull up a set of anatomy flashcards while I’m waiting for a meeting to start and quickly hit high-yield information. You can also use it for quick reference while in the clinics — either to teach yourself about a condition/medication relating to a patient or help out your preceptor/attending (be careful with this one, though, they might not appreciate your help).

4. A decent stethoscope. The key word here is “decent.” Get one better than the base model, but don’t go out and drop $500 on an electronic cardiology stethoscope — (1) you’ll look like an idiot, (2) it’s not worth it at this point and (3) you’ll probably lose it at some point. A good quality stethoscope will help tremendously, both in terms of hearing what you’re supposed to be hearing and comfort.

5. A good bed. You may not get a lot of sleep, so what you do get you want to be very good.

6. Question and review books. Hundreds of question and review books exist. Some advise med students against getting any of these until they are actually preparing for Step 1. The fear is two-fold:

*Students will use review books as a primary source for studying and miss out on some of the nuance provided by studying actual textbooks or materials from professors.
*Students will become too focused on prep Step 1 and look past the fact that they need to focus on their current courses and pass them.

Both risks are very real for students. However, review books and question books can effectively be incorporated into normal test prep during coursework in Year 1 and 2. The benefit of using these tools in your preparation for regular course tests is that you become familiar with these materials before you begin your arduous Step 1 preparation. Also, many of the review books contain very helpful mnemonics and tools for memorizing complicated pathways or concepts. Instead of wasting time coming up with your own, often inferior, memorization tools you can use some of the most effective ones from previous students. But don’t fall into the aforementioned traps — study primary materials first and only use these as your last bit of review/self-testing before an exam.

7. A good anatomy atlas. I think it’s important to have a true anatomy atlas, meaning one that is simply labeled pictures/diagrams. Several anatomy texts exist that are a combination textbook and atlas. I generally don’t like these because I find the text only functions to make the book thicker and makes finding the diagram you want difficult.

8 . Not over-paying for med school. A recent study in the Archives of Internal Medicine showed physicians who went to med school at US News & World Report Top 10 research or primary care medical schools did not perform any better on quality measures than their peers who went to less prestigious institutions. Med school debt is bad enough, don’t exacerbate the problem.